


Black Rabbits, Brown Birds

by llcflms



Series: Ayahina Week 2017 [5]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, some angsty hinami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25139887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llcflms/pseuds/llcflms
Summary: Hinami has a nightmare and Ayato wants her to feel better.
Relationships: Fueguchi Hinami/Kirishima Ayato
Series: Ayahina Week 2017 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821004
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	Black Rabbits, Brown Birds

**Author's Note:**

> Ayahina Week Day 5 (March 30th): Nightmares / Dreams

“No… Mother… Father… No, I…”

Despite himself, Ayato sighed at her never-ending words. It didn’t help that there wasn’t much space on the bed so she was practically pressing against his back. Every shift she made jolted him out of his sleep and eventually, he gave up with trying to sleep altogether. Instead, he sat up in bed, rubbing his forehead and turned to check the time on his phone.

3.35 a.m.

_Nice._

He ran his hand through his tangled hair and turned back to the squirming girl lying beside him. Hinami continued to fidget lightly about in bed, murmuring over and over again for mercy and calling out for her parents. It wasn’t anything new. Hinami was constantly tormented with nightmares of her past— a lot like he was. He sat silently, keeping an eye on her and waiting for her settle and calm herself down like she usually did. But as time went on, Hinami’s thrashing started getting rougher and her voice started getting louder. Ayato knew it was better that he woke her up, but as he reached for her, her body shudders before she leaps into a sitting position with a shrill scream. Ayato stared at her for a moment, his ears ringing from the scream, and watched in silence as she hugged herself. Her body trembled and sobs slipped out of her, along with soft whispers continuing to call out for her mother and father.

“Hinami?” Ayato called out softly, reaching over to place his hand on her shoulder. Hinami yelped at his touch, flinching and swatting his hand away before cowering more into herself. Ayato’s first reaction was a huge wave of confusion— why was she rejecting _him_?— and then, he started to get worried. He slowly crawled over to her and moved to kneel by her side, taking her by her shoulder again. Hinami shuddered but she didn’t push him away. She raised her head slowly and when she looked up at him, Ayato stiffened for a moment, moving slightly backwards. Hinami’s watery, wide eyes stared back at him. The sight took him by surprise, not because he hadn’t expected her to be crying but more because there was something about her look that seemed strangely nostalgic. He blinked slowly, watching as recognition started surfacing her eyes. Her lips part and his name rolled off them, her voice soft, trembling and weaker than he had ever heard. His first instinct was to reach over and pull her into his arms but stopped, fearing that he might startle her instead.

“Are you okay?” he asked instead. Hinami continued staring at him and Ayato wanted to slap himself. Was she okay? Of course she wasn’t okay.

“I… I…” Hinami looked at him for a little longer, before she turned behind her and started looking all around the room. “There… There was… They were…”

“Okay, that’s enough,” he whispered, reaching over to cup her face to still her. Even then, Hinami’s eyes continued to dart about. Her breathing was quickened and her body was trembling even more.

“I know. I could see them. I…”

“Hinami,” he raised his voice, just enough to snap her attention back to him, as he tried to keep his tone as gentle as possible. “Eyes on me. Hey, hey, look at me. Look at me.”

She did as he said, fixing her eyes on his. Ayato pulled her closer, lightly stroking one side of her face, tucking her hair behind her ear. He kept his eyes fixed on hers, studying the slight change in her facial features yet at the same time hoping to remind her of his presence. Hinami remained shaken but he could tell that she was starting to calm down. Her breathing was evening out. Her body was starting to relax as well. Ayato took that as an indication that he could ease himself a little as well. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. Hinami shivered in his hold.

“Shhh, that’s it… It’s okay. It’s okay, now. I’m here,” he whispered, stroking the back of her head, running his calloused fingers through the silky strands of her hair. Hinami pressed her face into his chest, her hands moving to clutch the thin fabric of his t-shirt. He heard a soft sob and he glanced down at her trembling frame. He remained silent as she begins to cry. Her fingers tighten against his shirt. Her body pressed against him more. As she wailed softly, she began calling out for everyone— her mother, her father, Kaneki, Touka, Banjou, Tsukiyama. She continued reciting the names over and over again, begging for forgiveness, cursing her weakness and calling out to see them again. Ayato said nothing. He held her in his arms as she cried, merely stroking her head and tightening his embrace.

At some point in time, her arms snaked up to wind themselves around his neck. She shifted her body until she was straddling his thighs. Hinami moved her head to rest on his shoulder, nestling her face into the nape of his neck. He felt her lips brush against his skin before she started planting quick kisses and nibbles along the length.

“Hinami,” he called out softly. “What are you doing?”

Hinami shook her head, moving away from his neck, only to straighten herself up and reach towards his face. He remained silent and still as she continued her previous ministrations, now merely on a different destination. Hinami ran her smooth lips along his jaw, before moving to capture his lips in a kiss that is far too forceful and desperate for it to have been from her. She prodded her lips with her tongue and Ayato hesitated for a moment before he relented, letting her do as she pleased. Hinami pushed herself harder against him, her body rubbing against his. One of her hands moved to the back of his head, fisting into the strands of hair till his scalp started to burn. Even between kisses, Ayato could feel her tears, falling out of her eyes and rolling down her cheeks and onto his.

Yet, he remained silent. He didn’t say anything— not when Hinami pressed their hips together, not when she lightly bit onto his bottom lip, not when she broke away from the kiss only to start tugging his shirt off him, not when she half-moaned his name in his ear and not when she pushed him to lie on the bed to straddle his hips. He watched her with blank eyes, withholding all judgements and comments even from his mind. Hinami could do whatever she wanted, just until she overstepped the boundary. He just wanted her to feel better.

Hinami moved to litter his body with kisses and he observed the top of her head as she slid from one end to the other. His body tingled from her actions, desire surging deep within him. He was honestly beginning to regret the tight pair of jeans he wore to sleep. It would have been more comfortable if he had sweatpants on. Why did he have to be so goddamned lazy before he went to sleep? Hinami ran her nails along the sides of his torso and Ayato gasped softly. He could feel her tongue and teeth amidst her wet kisses. Seriously, it was starting to get _really_ uncomfortable and he could feel his head start to spin as suggestive thoughts and images started creeping in.

When Hinami began trailing lower, her palm moving to press against his crotch as she fiddled with her zipper, Ayato decided that they’d gone far enough. He raised his body slightly and reached for her, lightly taking her by her shoulders. Hinami stiffened and resisted but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t easily counter. He pulled her up by her shoulders, flipped them over and pinned her down on the bed beneath him. Hinami looked up at him. She was no longer crying, yet her eyes were completely dead.

“That’s enough,” he whispered, moving his hand to lightly run two fingers along her cheek.

Hinami’s eyes hardened. “Don’t you want to do this? I could feel it. You—”

“Hinami,” he cut in, a little sternly. “I don’t want you to regret this when you wake up tomorrow.”

“I won’t.” She sounded so sure that he almost bought it. But he could tell that she still had one foot in her dream.

“Hinami, listen to me. Do you want our first time to be like this?”

Hinami clenched her jaws for a moment. “I don’t mind it—”

“I want it to be happy,” he replied, interrupting her again.

Hinami’s eyes widened, her bottom lip trembling slightly. “Is that it? Or is it because it’s me. Do you not want me? I’m nothing special. Ayato-kun is—”

He cut her off again by pressing his lips on hers for a short moment, the kiss gentle and brief. He pulled away a little before resting his forehead on hers.

“Who else would I do it with if not with you?” he asked, his voice a soft and gentle whisper. Hinami blinked at him, unconvinced, and he could see her forcing a swallow. He smiled weakly and cupped her face. “Listen, I want to do it with you. I want you so bad you can’t imagine. But Hinami, I want it to be happy and I want it to be something we can think back to with joy. I want it to be something that happens out of our love, something that’s meaningful and sweet.”

Hinami looked away as he spoke, her hands moving to pry his hands out of her face. “I don’t want to remember. I want to forget. Ayato-kun doesn’t understand. It’s hurting so bad. I can’t go back to sleep. I want to keep my mind off it. I don’t… I just can’t.”

She started to sob again and Ayato sighed. He crawled off her, flopping back onto the bed. He reached over to gently pull her to lie atop him, as he lightly cradled her in his arms.

“I’ll tell you a story. Is it okay?” he asked.

“A story?”

“A bedtime story so you can go to sleep.”

“Oh… Okay.”

She pressed herself against him as he began to narrate. “I’m gonna tell you a story of a… erm… a rabbit and a bird.”

Hinami is no idiot. She probably would figure it out anyway. But he continued speaking, telling her about a black rabbit, small and weak as any rabbit was, who dwelt in solitude and lived a life of running and hiding. His world was built on lies and deceit—he couldn’t even be honest to himself. The rabbit’s life was filled with people. He had family and friends. Yet his loneliness and fear grew day by day as he continued being reminded how weak a mere rabbit was in the face of the world. But as he went on in a life of being misunderstood, he stumbled upon a little bird one day. The rabbit saw something in the bird that she herself didn’t and the bird saw something in the rabbit that he himself didn’t. It was a strange relationship but they started to laugh instead of cry, smile instead of frown and dance instead of run. In a world of darkness and sorrows, no one could have guessed that a little black rabbit and a little brown bird could find small sparks of happiness simply by being together. The rabbit and bird eventually decided on a decision to go on a journey because they knew that somewhere out there, there was a better and happier place for them to be in.

“Rabbits die of loneliness,” Ayato murmured. “But the bird saved the rabbit and all the rabbit wants to do is to save the bird as well. He dreams of a world where the two of them can sing and dance under the sun. One day, they will find that world. Isn’t that right?”

He didn’t get a response. Hinami was fast asleep by then.

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, I never really liked this fic.


End file.
